The day you have so long dreamed of in your hearts is now arriving: You and your beloved are marrying, and you want to share your joy with your closest friends and family. It’s time to plan the ceremony. What kind of ceremony should it be? Perhaps you come from different Jewish backgrounds, perhaps you have different relationships to Jewish ritual.

I am the celebrant you’ve been searching for. Having been raised in an orthodox community, serving as the cantor in a conservative community, and having helped create a Jewish renewal synagogue, I am completely familiar with all the paths of Jewish practice. I will help infuse your ceremony with rituals that will have personal meaning to both of you. In the process, you will not only realize the wedding of your dreams, but the ceremony itself will be a part of the creation of a new inclusive family circle.

Creative and Personal

In your wedding, I ensure that each of you feels well represented. The special values that each of you most cherishes can be expressed through poetry, readings and songs. Your core beliefs will be reflected in my words to you. The weddings I perform are personal, intimate, and suffused with a gentle humor.

Each wedding ceremony, while using many of the traditional elements of a Jewish ceremony, is unique to the couple that comes to me. When you hire a cantor as your wedding officiant, you get two for one: someone who can provide music as well as perform the rituals that you choose for your perfect ceremony. I can set your favorite poem to music and perform it at any appropriate time between or during the rituals. Here are some sample clips of songs from previous wedding ceremonies:

Listen to a sample of Hareh
Listen to a sample of Camarada
Listen to a sample of Circle Chant
Listen to a sample of Full Circle

 

You may choose to use Hebrew during your marriage ceremony or have it performed entirely in English. If you find that some of the traditional religious formulations don’t really speak to your hearts, I can offer you contemporary forms of blessings that might conform better to your modern-day beliefs. For instance, the blessing over wine could be the traditional בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן “Borey pri hagafen”, or “We give thanks to the source of life for creating the fruit of the vine,” or “We bless this celebration with the fruit of the vine.”

The Way I Work

Getting to know a couple beforehand is very important to me. To that end, I like to have an initial meeting to see if we are a good match. If we are, then I try to meet with you as many times as we can fit into our schedules, and I try to find out as much about you as I can. What is it that brings the two of you together? What is unique about your connection? How did you meet? What are some of the things that you share and enjoy doing together? The more that I get to know you, the more authentic and heartfelt will be the words that I say to you during your wedding ceremony.

If you live outside Northern California, we can correspond by e-mail and telephone. I have had clients from as far away as Georgia, Texas, Arizona, and New York.

Welcoming Your Guests

Many elements of Jewish ritual carry universal meanings that will resonate with all your guests. This will not only make your guests feel welcome, but allow them to feel like an essential part of the ceremony. By virtue of their presence their role is not only to celebrate with you, but to be your witnesses and to bestow blessings upon you. If you wish, I can invite your friends and family to participate in the ceremony by having them read or sing poems, songs, or other texts that are meaningful to them, either of their own choosing or provided by me.

A Sample Ceremony

Here are some of the elements that you might choose as part of your ceremony.

  • Processional – to music of your own choosing, perhaps written by me
  • Chuppah – the wedding canopy
  • Circling – going around each other seven times
  • Kiddush – the blessing over wine
  • Story – I or someone else telling a little bit about you
  • Ketubah – signing and displaying the prenuptial contract
  • Vows – traditional vows or personal ones you write yourselves or suggested by me
  • Ring Exchange
  • Seven Blessings – traditional or completely creative, some perhaps recited by friends and family
  • Proclamation – presenting the married couple
  • Breaking the Glass – by one or both of you

In addition, I am open to other rituals that you might like to include in your ceremony.