One of You Is Jewish...

The day your heart has so long dreamed of is now arriving: You are marrying your beloved, and you want to share your joy with your closest friends and family. It’s time to plan the ceremony. You are Jewish and your partner isn’t, or vice versa. Perhaps you are both of the same gender. Your local Rabbi or the Cantor you grew up with may refuse to officiate at an interfaith ceremony, but you are not willing to get married in a church or settle for a civil ceremony. Your parents may be concerned, perhaps even disapproving. So whom should you turn to?

I am the celebrant you’ve been searching for. Having worked with interfaith couples and performed interfaith weddings and commitment ceremonies for over 15 years, I understand the issues involved. My goal is not only to help you create the wedding of your dreams, filled with personal meaning and memories, but also to reach out to your families and friends, who will become part of your new family circle.

Creative and Personal

In your wedding, I ensure that each of you feels well represented. The special values that each of you most cherishes can be expressed through poetry, readings and songs. Your core beliefs will be reflected in my words to you. The weddings I perform are personal, intimate, and suffused with a gentle humor.
Each wedding ceremony, while using many of the traditional elements of a Jewish ceremony, is unique to the couple that comes to me. When you hire a cantor as your wedding officiant, you get two for one: someone who can provide music as well as perform the rituals that you choose for your perfect ceremony. I can set your favorite poem to music and perform it at any appropriate time between or during the rituals. Here are some sample clips of songs from previous wedding ceremonies:

Listen to a sample of Camarada
Listen to a sample of Circle Chant
Listen to a sample of Full Circle

 

You may choose to use Hebrew during your wedding ceremony or have it performed entirely in English. If you find that some of the traditional religious formulations don’t really speak to your hearts, I can offer you contemporary forms of blessings that might conform better to your modern-day beliefs. For instance, the blessing over wine could be the traditional בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן   “Borey pri hagafen”, or “We give thanks to the source of life for creating the fruit of the vine,” or “We bless this celebration with the fruit of the vine.”

The Way I Work

Getting to know a couple beforehand is very important to me. To that end, I like to have an initial meeting to see if we are a good match. If we are, then I try to meet with you as many times as we can fit into our schedules, and I try to find out as much about you as I can. What is it that brings the two of you together? What is unique about your connection? How did you meet? What are some of the things that you share and enjoy doing together? The more that I get to know you, the more authentic and heartfelt will be the words that I say to you during your wedding ceremony.

If you live outside Northern California, we can correspond by e-mail and telephone. I have had clients from as far away as Georgia, Texas, Arizona, and New York.

Welcoming Your Guests

Many elements of Jewish ritual carry universal meanings that will resonate with all your guests. This will not only make your guests feel welcome, but allow them to feel like an essential part of the ceremony. By virtue of their presence their role is not only to celebrate with you, but to be your witnesses and to bestow blessings upon you. If you wish, I can invite your friends and family to participate in the ceremony by having them read or sing poems, songs, or other texts that are meaningful to them, either of their own choosing or provided by me.

A Sample Ceremony

Here are some of the elements that you might choose as part of your ceremony. In addition, you may want to include traditions from other cultures that you are connected with, such as ‘jumping the broom’ or lighting a Unity Candle, etc.

  • Processional – to music of your own choosing, perhaps written by me
  • Chuppah – the wedding canopy
  • Circling – going around each other seven times
  • Kiddush – the blessing over wine
  • Story – I or someone else telling a little bit about you
  • Ketubah – signing and displaying the prenuptial contract
  • Vows – traditional vows or personal ones you write yourselves or suggested by me
  • Ring Exchange
  • Seven Blessings – traditional or completely creative, some perhaps recited by friends and family
  • Proclamation – presenting the married couple
  • Breaking the Glass – by one or both of you